observing Christmas from a distance.....

Hello people,

Its been so long since I posted something, I cant even remember where I left off....yeah! its been that long! Life's been so hectic since summer holidays I just saw my days escape me by in a rush...most times I have to strain to remember which days it is today! I have no idea if its Monday or Tuesday??! Well yeah then came b'day parties, mild flus, exams and high fevers halting at what I have been silently counting under my breath...the HOLIDAYS!!! Ever since its like a switched just went off in me....I relaxed and exhaled..........

So here I am sharing with you my observations as I experience my second Christmas away from home in a foreign country. Although Malaysia is a multi cultured country with several religions, it maintains its religious festivities as widely as possible through out the country. Hoards of tourists from the Middle Eastern countries especially fill the bustling shopping centers. And then here I go mingling amongst these people and come across all these shiny glistening Christmas ornaments,the Christmas trees and all the decorative stuff that are put on for sale! Its such a delightful feeling!! Like children me and my sister walk through the stacks of Christmas decorations exclaiming how nice they are....and then what do we do? We say some excuse or other and buy them too! Now why do we make excuses? Cos we are not Christians or Roman Catholics, we are from a complete different religion and its taboo for us to celebrate these festivals! But we are still so attracted to the bright colours and glitter we buy them if only to just decorate our windows! Oh and we love the Christmas cookies, cakes and puddings too! We buy them too and look up cookie recipes too!! I call that being dusted with a foreign culture n tradition once you start living in a foreign country other than your own.

So before I sign off I shall share some photos from holidays during the month of July and August when I went home to Maldives and stopped over in neighbouring country Sri Lanka which to me is like a second home.

Thats all for now, I shall post more and upload more pictures....now that I'm back!

I'm slacking behind.....

written on 28th June.....

I dont want to say this, but I must do so, cos it's been more than a week since I wrote on this. I've been in 'delay mode' the last few days or past week. This is really not good. I need to prioritize. I wrote that on my facebook display message too. Well actually the last few days have been mostly trying to digest the news Micheal Jackson's death and the shock and sadness of it all has been too much for me. I know I shouldn't let myself get so affected by it but it has done that. Well I have avoided the televison for most part of the day hoping to forget about it.

Anyway to skip to a lighter note, today I had my pal the dog visit me, yes she is in town and we met briefly a few times and today she came by to say bye before she leaves in a few days. I was too busy with my kids and we could not really have a proper catch up. But it was still nice to see her and share a few moments together.

continued 3rd July.....

Well, well here I am after many pauses, trying to putatleast a piece of my thoughts in a sentence. I have been pretty occupied and pre occupied the last days that my time is spent in either doing the necesarry household chores or when I am free 'trying not to worry' about those pre occupying thoughts. Like I said I need to really think strategically and decide which path I need to follow. Who said life is easy right?

Once again trying to skip onto a lighter note, I am also hoping to go on vacation soon so alot of planning is going on mentally which keeps me even more occupied. Otherwise i would say that days are just breezing past me, sometimes I am like 'what? its already Friday? I thought it was only Monday yesterday!'

Father's Day...

I don't know if I should be writing this or not but I feel compelled to do so,more because I have this blog going and I think it's rather a good title to blog about. For me Father's Day brings mixed feelings.Feelings I would rather not touch. Feelings I have put at the back of my mind and kept them numb.However, I will take the painful effort and share a little bit of what is left of my ailing relationship with my father.Right now we only communicate with text messages and that too just short notices giving some info over a financial matter.That's it. I have not spoken to him in person for more than a year now.So this will pretty much sum up my relationship with him.

I don't know why and cant find an explanation that justifies it enough,my father just has this wall around himself that you just cannot pass beyond.He doesn't know how to express love and has always been very stern with us. My siblings and I are actually quite afraid of him even though we still love him. We have accepted him the way he is,he does not realize it. I am not over looking the times he has been mentally and physically supportive while my sister and I both were going through our divorces. That must have been a hard position to be in while having divorced our own mother.What I want to say here is, no matter how he lends his support he will even do that in a restricted way of his own. He would never let loose himself or his demeanor of sternness. Yes and that is how I know my father always and have this image stuck in my mind. I cannot be made guilty for this because i don't want to have this image and wish so much that it wasn't this way. I wish so much that I could just call him up some days and have a chat. For we have had such times in the past and whatever said and done we are related by blood and that really is thick you know. You just can re bond after many years without a blink. It has happened many times.

Yet I am here, standing defeated and tired of trying to knot and re-knot the ends.Its gets me no where. It keeps me exhausted and weakened.I don't think I am that strong anymore.I don't like to think of Father's Day, for all of these things that I have mentioned. I hold on to the good memories and pass everyday like I am fine, so why should I spoil it today?I feel as I go wandering through my life I must contribute something from my life in writing,I think my thoughts like I write them,they are long and confusing and deeply expressed. My grandfather was a writer and poet and his poems are studied in schools for their Language classes in our own Maldivian script. So there, isn't that a good enough reason to attempt a bit of writing. I am always praying for good things and you should do the same.Pray.

I got a text message...

Well yes, I got a text message from one of my bestest friends the other night, telling me she has been thinking alot about our long standing friendship and she realized that I am the only one who reads whatever she writes, I guess she meant her texts and maybe also her blog. Whatever it is, she wanted to thank me for this. Now in my foggy confused sleepy moment I replied a elaborate message about how much fun we always had and this word 'fun' is what we discovered together kind of bullshit.

Actually, its now that I am really thinking about our long standing 'friendship'. This friendship has weathered many storms together and each time been bounded by more strings than we can detach now. So I think it was not only the good times that kept us going,it was also the bad times that kept us going.

So I really want to dedicate this post to her and give her this message - We are friends because we understand each other very well and respect each other. I believe if we didnt have that we would have fallen apart by now. In life we make many friends but very few remain the same way towards you through the years, and these are friends you have bonded with many times over. We 'bonded' countlessly over many years, over several experiences. You cant break such bonds!

JUMP!!!

1,2,3 ....jump

Its a blank moment...

Good day to everyone,

Today I am not in an inspirational mood to write but I feel I must contribute something to this blog like the way I am supposed to do an assignment....But I feel tired as its very late and sleep is the most urgent thing on my list.Its been a long day with many visitors for tea here. Ofcourse I enjoyed the day and had much laughter too.......I guess some days you are just blank and no matter what you cannot put thoughts into words. So here goes some pictures instead. Nothing too relevant but moments captured to remember....

a fishing boat....

a tropical flower...

a curious visitor....

Age and Change...

Hello bloggers,

I have been thinking that as we age our thinking change so much,its an accepted norm, which maybe any ordinary person may not even think about, like I am doing right now. However, my point is fifteen years back I would never believe that I would say these things, because I believed I would be still the same reckless, dare devil I used to be with a famous claim that I used to make to my friends 'there's no word called 'regret' in my vocabulary'! OH how WRONG could I have been, now I have to say there are more than a few 'regrets' in my bag of mistakes. My beliefs and morals have completely changed compared to then. To think I was just reminded by a friend recently what a fan I was of Kurt Cobain and soon after his sudden death, I used to quote his words on his suicide note "peace, love, empathy" and I am like thinking what??? Was I fascinated by someone's suicide note!!!Honestly! Likewise, when I was studying away from home and experiencing the new found freedom I had, I used to go out and party with my friends, not minding to climb over gates and sleep in cars when we got locked out. The worse images are of creeping through dark alleys with friends and sitting to smoke cigarettes with them as if it was the greatest thing! oh and how about accepting lifts home from unknown people we met at the discos! They were usually friends of friends and so not strangers to us 'officially' as our thinking was then, so it was completely fine by us!But now I would rather walk alone than take a ride from an unknown!

So I could go on and on, but each time I go back down memory lane and go through the days when I was a young single girl I remember most how much guts I had and even though I didnt have enough life experience I was still very brave to have done the kind of things that I did. Oh how we sail through youth with no reserves and no care and only with the aim to have fun. That was always the priority. I guess thats why people say to make the most of your youth.

However now, after a marriage, two kids and many life experiences later,so much needs to be weighed before making a decision. In other words, for good or not, we think twice before doing anything. But I still like to think I am a person who moves along with the trend, and abide by the beliefs of the times we live in....but boy,each generation takes a step higher than the other, so how do we keep track of that?? I wonder how much of my thinking would change in another decade???

the young me on the left with best friends...

the adult me in the middle with the same friends....

Laugh,laugh, laugh

Pink Sherbert Photography - Flickr

I read that laughter is the medicine for the soul. In today's society it is surveyed that an average adult laughs about fifteen times or even less in the course of a day. It is believed that if you make yourself laugh early in the morning when you wake up 'the happiness' juices will start flowing! Now I believe that's something we need to practice! So even if you don't feel like it look in the mirror and laugh for a couple of minutes. William James said 'We don't laugh because we are happy. We are happy because we laugh'.

Excuse me!

Yesss!

We make so many excuses as we go by our ways. I know I make alot of them all becuase I simply cant apply myself to do what requires to be done. "Oh I was so busy,thats why I couldnt come", "Sorry, i cant make it this weekend, I have alot of things to be done with my kids", " I have a headache, I cant go to the gym today" and the worst one " Sorry, I have been so busy I couldnt CALL you". will never take that from anyone, not even myself, cos I dont believe anyone is so busy that they cant make a phone call! But thats life we make excuses all the time and I think its time I stop making excuses for myself. I really do!! I also read this somewhere 'The only limits on your life are those that you set yourself'.

So it is mid week already and I dont know how the days have already gone by, my life has still been the same dull routine and the weather here adds up to it, cos once again its the cloudy skies here in Malaysia. I need to spice up my life! So how about about these :

The hot chillies of Maldives, we use them to spice up our dishes!!

It's like I pressed the pause button..........

Hey there,

Well yes, it is like that. I feel as though time has stood still even if the sun rises and falls to a new day. Its like I live the same day everyday.I dont know if this makes sense to anyone but when you feel your days are like this,whether you are busy with work or household chores it doesnt matter it feels like its the same!! Yes I need a change, a vibrant change that will lift me up from this doom. Its been a week since I entered anything onto this blog and not because I was too busy, all because my mind was too lazy, dulled by stillness, routine, boredom and insanity??!

Nevermind even if I was feeling all that I mention above, I still have been going out and about town. To sum up a boring week, I did some maths problem solving with my daughter, I have been to some crazy chaotic sales close by the shopping mall, I have visited an old friend when she invited me and family for lunch at her home, as she too happens to have moved here just about an year ago just like me! So I guess I have been quite active for someone who is talking about routines. Last of all am seriously under the gun of planning our holidays during summer break from school.

So I guess am talking about needing something more meaningful happening in my life.....I need to sort out my mind. So here it ends for now with some pictures I took within the past week.

Chaos at the sale......

Sweetness beyond words......this lady waited patiently for her relatives to fetch her after they did their the shopping at the mall!

a dip in the pool......

Be thankful..........

Hello people,

I have been away, away from my thoughts and thus away from this. I have been thinking, how often we forget to be thankful for what we have, and usually always see what dont have! I decided to be thankful for this life I have, how blessed I am so far and to keep a track of them.

So here goes, I thank god for the two lovely kids I have, I cannot imagine my life how it would be without them now. I may go through hard times as a single mum but each day I learn something from my expereinces and each day I hope I get stronger. I have started a new life in a new place yet I have many conflicting thoughts about my decisions and when I look back more often now I feel I just should be glad, for where else can I have this life which is peaceful and more hassle free than I imagined. I may not drive but for now there is nothing which I lose by this as all the places I need to go are close in distance and conveniently located. The school my kids go to are twenty minutes ride, the KUMON maths classes they attend are just a few minutes away. And my grocery shopping is just the same, only a few minutes from my home and this should be worthy fact to note in a big place like this and if you dont drive! So here I am thanking these little matters and what about my other little important matters??? Like the salon I go for my eye-brow threading, which is also close by and thank god for Dorothy Perkins shop and their boot cut jeans, I dont have to adjust them in length one bit, so what if they are a bit costly, its the perfect cut. As in the past I had to go to the tailor down my road back home, and mind you every time I had to explain the adjustments in detail and never been able to get it right, to learn much later that the tailor was deaf and didnt hear properly! Oh and I love the weather in Malaysia.Not too hot and lots of rain! Life is all about adjusting,and I am adjusting to my new life which is more peaceful and calm compared to my life in the recent years. I only miss my friends back home. Dear friends I do miss you but technolgy is such that we dont have to feel that missing feeling too much, we are only a quick call away, a quick text a way and thank god once more, we are just a click away from the msn chat!! Keep smiling cos I am :-)

my home, away from home.......Malaysia

Back to school....

Hello people,

I am back to school meaning my kids have started school after a 3 weeks break and I have been getting used to the change of routine once again. I am not relaxed enough to sit and write my heart out....I still am not relaxed as the clock beside me on the table is clicking and with that noise my heart is racing as if I sit here for an exam and I got to finish in time...But my anxiety here is I need to sleep, I need to sleep, I need to sleep..........However I am determined to write something tonight before I go and sleep as now I know that some of my friends have been reading my blog and they look forward to what I post! Thank you friends,your encouragement is great! Oh that reminds me.....dealing with school and mean teachers, sometimes I just dont know how to encourage and reassure my daughter when it comes to her school anxiety moments! She has a mean teacher and because she is afraid of her and afraid of being scolded by her she is in the mind of taking all her books to school no matter what her time table is!! And mind you this is making the school bag burst out and get so heavy. I have tried to to convince her not to but she says she wants to be safe just till she gets used to things! So I gave up now.Encourage or discourage sometimes we have to give in and let them figure it out I guess.

Lastweek I met up with an old friend from Maldives visiting here in Malaysia on a business trip. We went out one night and hit the city centre where its supposed to be happening! Well it sure was happening cos it was the pick up place for all the Philipino girls out here!! Good looking,bad looking, young , old, you name it they were there.No offence on any Philipino girls, but it sure was a sight to watch! Anyway my friend and another friend of hers we all had some great fun before heading home late hours! Girls just wanna have fun....yeah! Cyndi Lauper was right when she sang that song some long time ago!

As I have not been very technical these days, with computers, cameras and other gadgets I have not been able to import any of my lately taken photos. So once again it will be a happy feeling photos! Enjoy and dont forget to leave a comment!

the rose coffee...

The B'day !

the girl in the blue dress....

why are people the way they are including me?

hi people,

I am so enraged sometimes by people and their intolerance but I am the same many times so I should not see these things? Wrong I still should see it, I mean here is a fine example, here I am waiting to get a taxi on the road, it is almost fifteen minutes of waiting now, I happen to carry two heavy bags on both my hands, my kids are getting tired and whiny and I also have another family member beside me who has promised a friend of hers, she would meet her soon to go somewhere....this friend calls her to ask her where she is and how long she would take to get back home, she explains the situation and in a few minutes we get a taxi and head home, within fifteen minutes apart again she calls to find out where she is??? What do you call that???

Today I took the this quiz on facebook 'Get Your Own Japanese Name' and guess what my name is? Ruri Karasuma! That is hilarious and I wonder if I was given that name when I was born, would my life have been any different?? A question to ponder about! Anyway my holidays or rather the holidays for my kids are about to end and school is opening on Monday, I dread those early morning wake up time again, I really do feel that when your kids start grade school you go back to school all over again, and what about those homeworks??? The fractions and long divisions and, the synonyms and antonyms....I could go on and on. I had more stress than my daughter during her last exams and I was so relieved when it was over, I was jumping for joy secretly! The whole point is I should really decsipline myself and go to bed early these last few days, but how can I, when I have this blog on my mind ! This is my joy for now, like my baking frenzy which had been last month....Oh that reminds me I still need to make that pie from the recipe my Arabic friend has given me!

Let me be honest here, since I just started this blog, I am so very new to it, I have been reading up on tutorials, on how to adjust this, or how to add this and what have you! I am not a very computer friendly person other than the basic average course! So I have had alot of time spent on research but that is how you learn by doing stuff over and over again I think. And I must mention one friend of mine, let me call him Blackbird as thats what he calls himself on his msn!! He has been giving tips and I share my blog problems with him!! Thanks for your encouragement Blackbird!! I hope I will inspire you more than you have inspired and advised me many a times on different occasions and I hope to see your blog out here soon!! Cheers man!

Talking about friends I miss one very dear friend of mine back in Maldives, who I always share my writings with, I call her my Dog and many more names dependng on the mood. Dear Dog I hope you will be reading this soon and will as always give me your wise comments that always puts a smile on my face!

So today once more here are some 'happy feeling pictures' continued....stay tuned.....

Delightful water puddles!

the typical Maldivian food....

Green and sunny, a peaceful feeling in what I call the late afternoon lull.....

another day, another thought....

There are some days you have so much in your head you dont know which way to go and yet you have to ignore those feelings and go in one direction which is the obvious, the daily expected ways....yet you know I feel I should not be guilty to stray from these routinals and just say I dont give a damn and do what I want to do...be it...nothing but just sit n look up the sky while my kids swim n splash in the pool. Well these are sunny days, after many days of typical Malaysian weather of cloudy rainy days with an almost timed heavy shower that falls without fail every evening! I love the rain and normally wouldn't complain but I must say sometimes when you get that every day it wears you out. I used to love the rains in Male' cos there it is so humid and when it rains you really welcome it especially after a long period of dry weather......ok now enough about this rain and lets get on a more sunny topic.

Today I tried to take some photos on my nephews Nikon pro camera, since am not a pro on this yet, I dont even know the model it is, but I can tell you it is not that hard to handle it and believe me takes awesome pictures. Unfortunately i could not many picture today as the battery went down.

I will post some photos which I consider are my 'happy feeling photos'. They are a mixture of photos taken different times but not too long ago and at various locations including Maldives.



the sunrise from my balcony...

the windy Marine Drive...

the sunset on a sandbank....

Here I am starting one very wakeful night.....

hey there,

just starting my first blog....wanted to plan this in grand style but sometimes i feel a spontaneous outpour is better! well lets see how all this will go....right now I'm going through a very relaxing period...a school break for the kids so its a completely out of routine,doing this and that kind of period with lots of eating and sleeping!! And not to mention very late sleeping and that is one reason and how I came about to the blogging idea!!

Anyway I thought since I am in the start of things and am as I say exploring a new country even though now its over a year I thought I would start with photos of where I live now and photos of my country the maginficent Maldives which i have said a temporary goodbye.... so here it is

Male' the capital island of Maldives, one speck of an island amongst its many scattered in the Indian Ocean. I know am sounding like the way they do in the travel catalogues, and to be honest Male' being the capital, its become one heck of a congested place with many buildings and houses that there is no more any greenery and it looks more like a concrete jungle than a lush green island. Not to mention to the over population on the island itself. But I will post a more nicer picture before I finish this off for now....