Memories......

Today I though about a childhood memory which I cherish very much. As kids we used to go on trips to other islands, as where I come from a country which is an archipelago of islands, this was very common. We go and swim in the crystal clear sea...jumping and crashing at each other, swallowing alot of sea water! The whole day we were in the sea or on the beach, our skin used to be burnt to dark brown and we loved to check on who had tanned the most. We would come out of the water ravenous with hunger and gobble alot of food and run back into the sea again.....then we return back to our home island...which was more or less like the city in our country....we would go to sleep in our beds exhausted from the day, our muscles completely stretched and worn out and then feel as if you hear the waves crash on the beach....as you slowly fall asleep. I'm sure many of my childhood friends would have the same memories. Those were innocent fun days! We didn't have technology like the generation now, we just had the sun, sea and the beach to play on and our best memories were spent like this, always on the outdoors.

the ghost chillies let me down once again....

Hello to you people whoever happens to stop by me!

Let me start off with an explanation for the title of this post...I happen to be an addict of the game Farmville on facebook...well yeah who does not know facebook these days! So whenever I play on farmville and plow the land and plant ghost chillies I somehow miss to harvest on them and they wither, this has happened several times and its ironic since I planted chillies on my small balcony and both my plants died into dry thin sticks mocking at me every time I go there. So my conclusion is that I am just not made for these chillies of the world! They wither and die just like some significant promises that I make to myself and is unable to keep every time.

Yeah...these days I am not happy with myself. This maybe the reason I haven't written on this blog although I have so much to write in my head.....so much so that if I attempt at writing them these pages would over flow. I know I am trying to escape from something...I am always on the run from something...or then I find myself waiting for the moment to pass. It's confusing if I try to analyze so I leave it at that. So I am not in focus to out pour whatever it is that needs to be poured out.

So lets say I want to pass this ghost chilli phase of myself and get more focused to write all those stories that I need to tell. I have also thought of different ways to change the way I present this blog rather than in this direct periodic updates about my boring life, I'm thinking of going into third person form and get more spicy. So here's hoping to catch up later with such a post....hopefully very soon. Until then keep looking at the flowers!

It's a New Year...it's 2010!!!

Hey there bloggers!

It's a totally new year and I started blogging sometime ago although not yet one year...pretty much still in my crawling stages....However I have told myself that this new year I will stop being lazy and start posting here more regularly! So lets hope I stick to this promise!

I would like to say however, that I have been reading almost all of the blogs that I follow and I have been here almost every day which is why I feel guilty when I don't make a post myself.Anyway here i go again....explaining, justifying why? I don't think any one's complaining?!

Anyway to get onto something more subjective....I've been in a complete relax mode all through these holidays and this has made me ponder more deeply about my life and how incomplete I feel at times! Yet I don't know what it is that would make me feel complete. I go through each day trying to escape the reality of things and blocking out alot of my troubles...this has in a way helped me cope on a daily basis...Not that I feel down and depressed or something...I just feel like I want this time to pass quick hoping the next phase would be better...looking for something positive. So usually time does really go fast...I cant imagine how quick the holidays are over,I wanted to linger on it everyday cos it allowed me to relax and do nothing. I know how stressed I get when the school starts. Anyway I want to focus on being more positive this year so I will not complain about this either.

The last year saw me through many changes in my own life and in the lives of many of my loved ones and close friends. It seemed like a year that things were happening very fast. I went on holiday back to my home and I am yet to feel homesick enough to want to go back there again. I just don't feel at home when I go there anymore...I stay with friends and I visit my mother's place and I think I'm always visiting someone's home so adding it up more to make me seem like a visitor on the move. I still cant get used to this idea cos that's still the place I call home and had lived for so long. It doesn't feel right to be there in a temporary state of mind. However on a positive note I think I can say that I have finally begun to accept Malaysia as it is. I had a grudge about everything when I first came here...cos this was not my initial plan. I ended up here on completely sudden decision which took one whole year to really sink into me! So life really has been changing around me, especially the last couple of years. People who knew me shouldn't be surprised if I seem to have changed a bit within me either!

So there, Happy New Year!! May there be laughter and love in your lives through out this year!

Cheers!